Self-esteem in a Post Modern World
In a world where affirmation can be found in so many places, it seems surprising that self-esteem and self-worth would still be a struggle for most people. Maybe not all of us, but many of us were told as a child by parents, teachers, and disney that we could achieve anything we put our mind to and we could be anything we wanted to be. And if you didn't hear it from them, you most certainly heard it from other cultural influences.
As an adult, these affirmations can be found in other sources - sexuality, love, work, sports, you name it. And despite it all, we still seem to be a people plagued by problems of depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. As more psychological problems surface, many embark in search for a cure. The rise of self-help books and pop psychology seems to say as much. And most of the time, the cure ends up sounding something like this: You need to love yourself and have confidence in who you are - only you can make yourself happy. Given our individualistic culture, a culture that values independence and self-sufficiency above dependence on others, this idea does not come as a surpise. And in some ways, the idea makes sense. If the problem is an internal one, it would seem logical to look within yourself to fix it. But for so many reasons, I feel that this is actually the wrong place to look.
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
A Place Among Them
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us…” Heb 12:1
Stories of great men and women are always inspiring, especially ones that are no mere legends. The more true the story, the more inspiring. Such stories show how real men and women can do extraordinary things. Of course, greatness as it may be defined, is a matter of perspective. The most inspiring lives are the ones that speak of incredible faith, love, and hope. Maybe such lives don’t seem at all great in the eyes of the world, but such lives mark greatness as it is defined by the kingdom of heaven. Trials proved genuine the faith they possessed. Their lives bared witness to and gave evidence of a divine power that enabled them in all things.
Inspired by His nature, they sought to emulate Him in their ways. They are truly an uncommon find, a rare breed. They were willing to go where no man or woman had gone before or at least where few were willing to go. And it is this unique trait that makes their lives so inspiring - their willingness to let go of what few others are willing to give up. In this way, their very lives became like a sweet fragrance, an aroma to inhale - they are redolent of something so good, so other-worldly that one cannot help but taste Heaven. Lives such as those of George Muller, James H. Taylor, Gladys Alyward, Amy Carmichael, the Stams, and William Carey - who all left the common path to live for something greater than themselves. Each one carried a torch with them in their race to the finish line, only to give it away to the next person. And that is the legacy they left us - that someone else would come after them, pick up the torch and carry on where they left off.
Stories of great men and women are always inspiring, especially ones that are no mere legends. The more true the story, the more inspiring. Such stories show how real men and women can do extraordinary things. Of course, greatness as it may be defined, is a matter of perspective. The most inspiring lives are the ones that speak of incredible faith, love, and hope. Maybe such lives don’t seem at all great in the eyes of the world, but such lives mark greatness as it is defined by the kingdom of heaven. Trials proved genuine the faith they possessed. Their lives bared witness to and gave evidence of a divine power that enabled them in all things.
Inspired by His nature, they sought to emulate Him in their ways. They are truly an uncommon find, a rare breed. They were willing to go where no man or woman had gone before or at least where few were willing to go. And it is this unique trait that makes their lives so inspiring - their willingness to let go of what few others are willing to give up. In this way, their very lives became like a sweet fragrance, an aroma to inhale - they are redolent of something so good, so other-worldly that one cannot help but taste Heaven. Lives such as those of George Muller, James H. Taylor, Gladys Alyward, Amy Carmichael, the Stams, and William Carey - who all left the common path to live for something greater than themselves. Each one carried a torch with them in their race to the finish line, only to give it away to the next person. And that is the legacy they left us - that someone else would come after them, pick up the torch and carry on where they left off.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Crossroads
Down this windy, dusty road
Awaits a path through which most go
The path is bearable, easy and wide
The name of the path is a Wasted Life
Promising easy trials and avoidance of pain
The path offers much for its pilgrims to gain
But off this beaten path another trail lies
It's small, narrow, stark, and untried
This Road Less Travelled will lead you where you want to go
Though where that is, no one knows
The path awards its travellers meaning, significance, adventure, and life
But it comes at a high price-
The price of a lonely life
Yes, pain and sorrow flow mingled down
Along this trying path to some untold crown
And though starting down this path may be easy enough
The real question is will the price be too much?
Though faint whispers of pioneers past
Urge you on to this uncertain path
Will the trials be too much for the soul to take?
Will the burden to press on be too great?
Yes, down this Road Less Travelled you must sojourn alone
But perhaps at the end you will find home
And though the trials and loneliness were indeed great
Perhaps you will feel no regret over the price you paid
Down the Road Less Travelled you will go
Though where it leads, no one knows
Awaits a path through which most go
The path is bearable, easy and wide
The name of the path is a Wasted Life
Promising easy trials and avoidance of pain
The path offers much for its pilgrims to gain
But off this beaten path another trail lies
It's small, narrow, stark, and untried
This Road Less Travelled will lead you where you want to go
Though where that is, no one knows
The path awards its travellers meaning, significance, adventure, and life
But it comes at a high price-
The price of a lonely life
Yes, pain and sorrow flow mingled down
Along this trying path to some untold crown
And though starting down this path may be easy enough
The real question is will the price be too much?
Though faint whispers of pioneers past
Urge you on to this uncertain path
Will the trials be too much for the soul to take?
Will the burden to press on be too great?
Yes, down this Road Less Travelled you must sojourn alone
But perhaps at the end you will find home
And though the trials and loneliness were indeed great
Perhaps you will feel no regret over the price you paid
Down the Road Less Travelled you will go
Though where it leads, no one knows
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Jesus and Religion
Come, follow me,” Jesus said. Matt 4:19
“How does your religion get you to heaven?” It wasn’t the question that stunned me, it was the response. “Actually, my religion doesn’t get you to heaven.” What? The host presiding over the inter-faith dialogues asked him to explain. “Sure, I’ve just never seen a religion save anyone. All religions are great at laying out some basic rules – dos and don’ts – that are good for our lives, but they don’t really provide hope or any kind of eternal security. It seems religions end up causing more trouble than solving any.” Wait – I thought this dude was a Christian! What was he saying?! “So then, how do you get to heaven?” the host asked him confused. “Well, it’s Jesus. He didn’t start a new religion; he came to provide us a model for life and a way to God. Believing in him and following him is the way. He takes us to heaven, not a religion.”
The word “religion” comes from a word that means “to tie up, to bind,” in the sense of obligation. Many people don’t want to become a Christian because they think Christianity is a religion. They are not looking to become burdened or tied up under a bunch of rules – they want to be free. But being part of the Christian religion and following Jesus are not one in the same.
Religion lays heavy burdens on the backs of men, under which they struggle. To the religious leaders of His day Jesus said, “And you experts in the law, woe to you, because you load people down with burdens they can hardly carry, and you yourselves will not lift one finger to help them” (Luke 11:45-47). Jesus didn’t come to start a new religion and lay more heavy burdens on the backs of men; he came to show us a new way entirely – believing in and following Him.
“How does your religion get you to heaven?” It wasn’t the question that stunned me, it was the response. “Actually, my religion doesn’t get you to heaven.” What? The host presiding over the inter-faith dialogues asked him to explain. “Sure, I’ve just never seen a religion save anyone. All religions are great at laying out some basic rules – dos and don’ts – that are good for our lives, but they don’t really provide hope or any kind of eternal security. It seems religions end up causing more trouble than solving any.” Wait – I thought this dude was a Christian! What was he saying?! “So then, how do you get to heaven?” the host asked him confused. “Well, it’s Jesus. He didn’t start a new religion; he came to provide us a model for life and a way to God. Believing in him and following him is the way. He takes us to heaven, not a religion.”
The word “religion” comes from a word that means “to tie up, to bind,” in the sense of obligation. Many people don’t want to become a Christian because they think Christianity is a religion. They are not looking to become burdened or tied up under a bunch of rules – they want to be free. But being part of the Christian religion and following Jesus are not one in the same.
Religion lays heavy burdens on the backs of men, under which they struggle. To the religious leaders of His day Jesus said, “And you experts in the law, woe to you, because you load people down with burdens they can hardly carry, and you yourselves will not lift one finger to help them” (Luke 11:45-47). Jesus didn’t come to start a new religion and lay more heavy burdens on the backs of men; he came to show us a new way entirely – believing in and following Him.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
The Iron Fist
Lesson number three: Authority is not a bad thing, it’s how you use it…
Authority - can’t live with it, can’t live without it. No one in their right mind would advocate anarchy as the way to go. We all know that if there were no law and nobody enforcing that law, mass chaos would ensue - crime and violence would go unchecked, running their full course. We need the order, protection, and stability that authority brings us. But while we admit authority is necessary, we also often feel it is a necessary evil. Bottom line: you can’t trust authority.
Our recognition of the need for authority is matched by our disdain for it and a ‘don’t tell me what to do’ attitude. Authority is all fine and dandy until it comes knocking on your front door or, perhaps more accurately, on your card window. We disdain authority because to us it limits our freedom and autonomy. Our origins and values as a country lend itself to this perception of authority.
As a camp counselor, having authority and enforcing it was not easy, particularly with the older kids. They don’t want you telling them what to do; authority in their minds is synonymous with control. Why do we have authority over children? Is it because we are better than them? Is it because we are less sinful than they are? No. I came to see that we are given authority to discharge a trust from God, and authority is needed to discharge that trust effectively.
Authority - can’t live with it, can’t live without it. No one in their right mind would advocate anarchy as the way to go. We all know that if there were no law and nobody enforcing that law, mass chaos would ensue - crime and violence would go unchecked, running their full course. We need the order, protection, and stability that authority brings us. But while we admit authority is necessary, we also often feel it is a necessary evil. Bottom line: you can’t trust authority.
Our recognition of the need for authority is matched by our disdain for it and a ‘don’t tell me what to do’ attitude. Authority is all fine and dandy until it comes knocking on your front door or, perhaps more accurately, on your card window. We disdain authority because to us it limits our freedom and autonomy. Our origins and values as a country lend itself to this perception of authority.
As a camp counselor, having authority and enforcing it was not easy, particularly with the older kids. They don’t want you telling them what to do; authority in their minds is synonymous with control. Why do we have authority over children? Is it because we are better than them? Is it because we are less sinful than they are? No. I came to see that we are given authority to discharge a trust from God, and authority is needed to discharge that trust effectively.
Love and Discipline
Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent. Rev 3:19
Lesson number two: discipline should not be punitive or done in anger…
Admittedly, this was the one I struggled with the most this summer. Have you ever found yourself thinking that love and discipline are two separate things? I have. I know many parents would say they struggle to find a balance between loving their child and disciplining them. But, without realizing it, we are implying that love is only warm and fuzzy while discipline is cold and harsh.
Perhaps we define it this way because that has been our own experience. But the discipline of the Lord is very different from human discipline. “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son. Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father?…Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it…” (Heb 12:5-7,9).
I think we need to redefine the word discipline. The word ‘discipline’ comes from the word ‘disciple.’ Children are disciples - little pupils, if you will. Little pupils of what exactly? Well, of those raising them. When we raise a child, we are ultimately instructing them in the ways of life, or more particularly, our ways of life - our standards, our beliefs, and our way of doing things. We show them how life should be lived. In an interesting way, they are little disciples of, well…us.
Lesson number two: discipline should not be punitive or done in anger…
Admittedly, this was the one I struggled with the most this summer. Have you ever found yourself thinking that love and discipline are two separate things? I have. I know many parents would say they struggle to find a balance between loving their child and disciplining them. But, without realizing it, we are implying that love is only warm and fuzzy while discipline is cold and harsh.
Perhaps we define it this way because that has been our own experience. But the discipline of the Lord is very different from human discipline. “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son. Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father?…Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it…” (Heb 12:5-7,9).
I think we need to redefine the word discipline. The word ‘discipline’ comes from the word ‘disciple.’ Children are disciples - little pupils, if you will. Little pupils of what exactly? Well, of those raising them. When we raise a child, we are ultimately instructing them in the ways of life, or more particularly, our ways of life - our standards, our beliefs, and our way of doing things. We show them how life should be lived. In an interesting way, they are little disciples of, well…us.
Discipline
Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the LORD your God disciplines you (Deut 8:5)
My summer has been a marvelous journey of ups and downs. I spent my summer working as a camp counselor with a local children’s ministry at a nearby church. I have worked with this ministry as a camp counselor several times before, and I always walk away learning something new. This time, I intend to chronicle what I learned. But a brief disclaimer, even as I share my learnings I can’t really claim sainthood. I don’t have it all together in these areas; if anything, this summer I came to see how I fall short of the ideal. As a camp counselor I came face-to-face with my own impatience. Coming into the summer I felt like such a gentle and patient person. Well, I was wrong. My patience and gentleness hit their limits, limits that I didn’t know were there. Children are a sanctifying fire of their own, trust me. But I am sure the Lord will continue to work on such things in me.
Lesson number one: you are never too old for discipline…
I would like to thank junior camp (the 4-6 year olds) for teaching me this lesson. I believe God made this age cute to help keep us from giving full vent to our anger. Their blatant rebellion and open disobedience would warrant greater punitive measures if it wasn’t for their darn cuteness. How can I be angry with you when your cheeks always look like a never-ending game of chubby bunny and your eyes are so googly? Still, they know what they are doing.
As my junior campers and I were walking to the classroom one kid decided to throw his lunch box across the ground, resulting in me announcing a new rule: no more throwing your lunch box across the ground. Of course, even if the urge to throw their lunchbox had never come across their mind, suddenly the desire appeared simply because you said not to. It was like a light when off in this one kid’s head: she said not, so now I want to. That’s when junior decided to test me…he threw his lunch box. And I stopped and stared at him incredulously.
My summer has been a marvelous journey of ups and downs. I spent my summer working as a camp counselor with a local children’s ministry at a nearby church. I have worked with this ministry as a camp counselor several times before, and I always walk away learning something new. This time, I intend to chronicle what I learned. But a brief disclaimer, even as I share my learnings I can’t really claim sainthood. I don’t have it all together in these areas; if anything, this summer I came to see how I fall short of the ideal. As a camp counselor I came face-to-face with my own impatience. Coming into the summer I felt like such a gentle and patient person. Well, I was wrong. My patience and gentleness hit their limits, limits that I didn’t know were there. Children are a sanctifying fire of their own, trust me. But I am sure the Lord will continue to work on such things in me.
Lesson number one: you are never too old for discipline…
I would like to thank junior camp (the 4-6 year olds) for teaching me this lesson. I believe God made this age cute to help keep us from giving full vent to our anger. Their blatant rebellion and open disobedience would warrant greater punitive measures if it wasn’t for their darn cuteness. How can I be angry with you when your cheeks always look like a never-ending game of chubby bunny and your eyes are so googly? Still, they know what they are doing.
As my junior campers and I were walking to the classroom one kid decided to throw his lunch box across the ground, resulting in me announcing a new rule: no more throwing your lunch box across the ground. Of course, even if the urge to throw their lunchbox had never come across their mind, suddenly the desire appeared simply because you said not to. It was like a light when off in this one kid’s head: she said not, so now I want to. That’s when junior decided to test me…he threw his lunch box. And I stopped and stared at him incredulously.
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