“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5
As a child in life you are dependent on your parents for everything. As you grow up, your parents prepare you for a life of independence. Maturity equals being able to take care of yourself and make your own decisions. For most of your life your parents prepare you for this, with the end goal being your self-sufficiency. But lately I am realizing how the Christian life is opposite of this in every way. Though you are maturing in your faith and growing spiritually, your dependency on your Heavenly Father is meant to be ever-increasing. You must rely on Him for everything. The end goal of the christian life is not self-sufficiency rooted in a confidence in your own abilities. It’s God-confidence, rooted in His abilities.
Where there is pride, we lose sight of our need for God and then begin to act apart from Him; we lose sight of our need for His love and grace. Often this is a very subtle mindset. You dont wake up one morning and think “I dont need God.” Instead, it’s subconscious. For me it started when I became too busy for God or when I started to look to something/someone else to meet the needs of my heart. What happened was my appetite for God became dull.
Then I reached a place of apathy, especially because for the most part things in my life were going good. Naturally, as a result of my prosperity I didnt feel a desperate need for God. In that place of prosperity I started to feel a lack of drive to really seek God because of the mindset that I didnt need Him. Then subconsciously I succumbed to the mindset that I needed God when things were hard, but not when it was good. Prosperity certainly does not lend itself easily to desperation.
I was reading a book by Heidi Baker recently. I love how vividly she able to show how prosperity can mask our need. As an American missionary in Africa, she has observed how readily those in poverty receive the gospel in comparison to those in the prosperous west. Why is that? Because they already know they are in need. In the West its harder to really feel in need. We have pantries full of food, closets full of clothes, and material comfort. When you’re poor you rely on God every day for your daily bread. If God doesnt provide food, there is no plan B.
Naturally, in the West many of our physical needs are met so its easy to believe that we can live without God. I read a verse recently that was convicting and humbling to read:
” You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent.” Rev 3:17-19
Once you start to believe that you don’t desperately need God every day of your life you are now an easy target for the Enemy. Pride comes before the fall. Because of this lack of dependence on God we are more likely to give in to temptation. I am beginning to think that humility is the answer to a lot of things in the Christian life. I suspect a lot of the sinful behaviors and struggles we are stuck in are the result of pride and a lack of dependency on God. Humility is what proceeds dependency. Humility helps us to see our need so we come to depend on God. Out of this dependency God brings change in us and through us.
I have been studying the beatitudes of scripture; I think the beatitudes demonstrate this process beautifully. “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (Matt 5:4). When I was stuck in my cycle of sin trying to break free, I couldnt figure out what was the problem. Why I couldnt just change when I tried. Looking back, I realize how full of pride I was and how God used circumstances in my life to humble me.
To be poor in spirit we really have to come to a place where we recognize our desperate need for God. We must see we are not inherently morally good. We are never in a place where we do not need Him. We need to realize that we have nothing to bring to the table. We do not deserve God’s grace and goodness. We cannot pay Him back for the cross. We cant fix it. We cant make up for our sin. We have no rights before God nor are we entitled to the goodness and grace of God. But the point is Jesus did fix it on our behalf. Jesus made up for our sin. We are completely unworthy. Yet God does not despise our weakness. Though we are unworthy, we are not worthless. To Him we hold great value. What is man that God cares about having our love?
After realizing you are poor in spirit you are able to move to the next phase. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matt 5:4). After I realized that I did not deserve any of the good things in my life and that I had wronged God even though He did not deserve it, the bitterness and anger I felt towards God melted. It gave way to a mourning over my sin. I mourned over treating God so badly. But now that I recognized my need for grace I was in a place where I could actually receive it. God faithfully comforted me by giving me grace.
Touched by this grace, I began to ask, “What can I do? Isn’t there something I could do after all You have done for me? Is there nothing I can offer you?” God replied very clearly, “Love me. What I desire most is your love.” Now I had moved into the next phase. “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.” As a result of loving God you begin to desire to do what pleases Him. You want to live righteously because you know this is how you love God. “We love because he first loved us.” (1 John 4:19). Our love for Him must be motivated by his love for us. Otherwise it is not life giving to our spirit. It becomes duty. You will feel like an empty shell, doing good things while trying to cover over your brokenness.
Instead, we must admit our brokenness and need for God. Then we can see God’s character more accurately. When we see His character more clearly we see His love and grace more clearly. When we see ourselves more clearly we are better to able receive that love from Him. Seeing ourselves clearly means a combination of humility but also knowing our identity in Christ and the worth we have to God. Its not a place of pride but its not a place of self-hate either. At either extreme you will end up rejecting the love of God rather than receiving it. And change is only possible through His love.
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