Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” Matt 26:36-38
It has come to my attention that there is a popular idea among churches in regards to feelings and faith. The theology is this: the facts are what matter, believe in the facts regardless of how you feel. The facts are first, feelings should be last. The logic behind it goes something like this: passions and emotions cannot be trusted, they are always getting you into trouble, and they must be conquered. Become calm, unaffected. One must become a clear and unbiased thinker and remove emotions and passions. Passion and desire are part of our flesh.
Also, love is not a feeling, but an action, a commitment to the well-being of another person. Joy is not happiness, but a confidence that everything will be alright. While I agree with these statements to a certain extent, they unsettle me. These statements provide an incomplete solution in my mind. In fact, I think they are taking the heart out of faith. The underlying thought is that your mind (intellect) is superior to your heart (feelings).
While commitment is an important part of love, who wants to define love in such a way? If your spouse approached you and said “Honey, I love you. You want to know how I know? Because I dont have feelings of delight or pleasure in you, but I am committed to you and your well-being” how would you receive that? Well, that completely takes the heart out of love, because thats not love, that’s duty. If God walked up to me today and said “I died on a cross for you, not because I take delight in you or feel compassion toward you, but because I am committed to your well-being,” then I’d feel terrible.
I dont think it’s good to dichotomize your whole being in such a manner. I wander if our being (heart, mind, soul, and spirit) were actually meant to work together harmoniously. What affects one, inevitably affects other parts. Isnt this idea that intellect is superior to your feelings a western philosophy? But why? Why is intellect viewed as better? We are made in the image of God and God is emotional. He laughs, He sings, He grieves, He weeps, He fumes, He vents, He gets jealous, and He even has feelings of hatred. If we throw out feelings and label them as bad, we become less human and denying a God-ordained part of ourselves.
While I acquiesce that feelings are fallen in nature, we must remember that everything else about us and our world is fallen, not just feelings; everything in our world has been affected by sin. So, yes, feelings have been affected by sin. But they can be redeemed. And as they are brought under the rule and reign of Christ, they become regenerate. And regenerate emotions are truly beautiful and good in the sight of the Lord - they bring us closer to His image, and closer to who He meant us to be.
If you want to change your feelings then you deal with what they are reacting to, but you do not label all feelings as “bad” or “carnal” and ignore them. I find that perception affects feelings. Feelings aren’t the root problem but point to it. You face the root with the help of God under His guidance which in turn affects your feelings. If your friend is running an hour late to meet you, you will probably feel legitimately angry. But the second you get the phone call saying your friend was in accident your feelings will change drastically to concern and a sense of urgency. Your feelings will change because your perspective has changed, not because the situation changed.
If you perceive God as a God who does not care about you enough or your problems you will likely feel bitterness and anxiety. Afterall, if God doesnt care then its up to you to make things happen as you want them to. It’s up to you to look out for you and your needs. You will perceive life as out of control and thus the burden will be on you to keep control and preserve order. Your fear and anxiety will continue to grow.
Now, here’s what I am NOT saying. I am not going all kumbaya here and singing “follow your heart.” Im not saying “If you feel angry, then yell at someone or hit them.” Thats not what Im saying. Im saying I dont think feelings are inheritantly bad and that reason is superior. Maybe God gave us both reason/intellect and feelings for a purpose, using them together in unison rather than having them counteract each other.
All these people who emphasize reason (just listening to the facts) are not unique, their mindset goes back to Plato and his friends who taught reason was good and feelings cannot be trusted, they lead to bad things. My first paragraph is mostly what Plato and even Gnostics taught, not Jesus.
Feelings cannot be ignored or stuffed. Feelings serve many purposes. They act serve as warning signals, alerting us to a problem. Ignoring them or stuffing them will not eliminate the problem your feelings are reacting to. Im not saying do whatever you please, we are to LOVE God (involves delight, pleasure, affection) and HATE sin (hate is a feeling of disgust). If we cant take pleasure in God and be glad in Him then thats a problem. But simply intellectually believing something will not breed that kind of delight. God wants your heart, not just your mind.
I realize what I am saying prolly does not sit well with a lot of people. But I think its cuz we are taught feelings and flesh are similiar. I know some people might make feelings the dominate voice in their life and do whatever their feelings say, but Im not saying it should be the dominate voice. Im just saying it doesnt help me when someone tells me, “just believe in the facts regardless of how you feel.” Thats an incomplete solution. I feel what I feel for a reason, there’s a problem and I dont think the feelings are the problem. I cannot just believe in something intellectually, I need to believe it in my heart too.
If anything, I just think some “negative” feelings are the warning signals saying something is going on beneath the surface. You can’t stuff them, you can’t ignore them, you have to deal with them and ask yourself why you feel the way you feel. But what is considered “bad” also depends on the object of that feeling. What do you love, God or pleasure? Is hate bad if you hate evil instead of a person? Are you jealous for what is not your’s or for your spouse who just had an affair? Are you angry at injustice or at a person? Is all anger bad? There’s vengeful anger but there’s anger that motivates us to stop injustice in the world, ie stopping a murder or rape.
Has anyone noticed this emphasis in our culture on not outwardly expressing emotions? It’s somehow noble to not show emotions like pain, anger, grief, etc. The girl or guy who actually cries gets strange looks. It’s more spiritual if you are calm and reserved. The girl who cries during a prayer is seen as just trying to get attention or the man who cries or shows emotions just needs to suck it up a “be a man.”
But Jesus was the opposite of this, weeping openly on more than one occassion (as a man), flipping over tables in anger, and feeling distress “to the point of death.” Jesus felt grief, joy, love, anger, etc. AND he showed it. And shouldn’t men of God be encouraged to model their manhood after Christ instead of the men like the Fonz?
People who ignore or stuff feelings end up feeling depressed. They are depressed because they are numb. They cant feel. And the reason is because you cannot pick and choose which emotions you will let yourself feel. Feelings are not switches, you cannot turn on positive emotions (joy, happiness, etc.) while turning off emotions labelled as “negative”(anger, sadness, hurt).
At the same time, people cannot give full rein to their emotions. For instance, the person who gives full vent to their anger may feel better temporarily but the problem that caused the anger is not necessarily eliminated and that person may now have consequences to deal with as a result of giving full vent to their anger (ie whoever they hurt with their anger). I think there is a balance between intellect and feelings. But without that balance you have problems. If you want to address negative emotions (anger, sadness, hurt) then you address the root (the problem your feelings are alerting you to).
