“And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will” (2 Tim 2:24-26).
In my early college days, I was known among my friends as the truth-teller. Now that title might sound good, but trust me, it’s not. I was opinionated and passionate, blunt and direct. Everything was black and white. And since it was black or white, I had to be right, I couldn’t be wrong, there was no gray. It was everyone else who was wrong. That meant that I had the right to present the truth to them in a forceful way. I would argue with them until they would see things from my-point-of-view. Can you guess how that worked? It didn’t. You can’t argue someone into the truth.
What struck me when I first read the above passage is that it is within the context of being right. Nevertheless, it instructs us to gently rebuke or correct those who oppose us, in hopes that they will come to see the truth and repent. Even when we are right, it does not give us the right to present the truth in such a way that shows a disregard for the feelings of others. We must communicate the truth in a way that is honoring and gentle, preserving the dignity of the other person. “Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions” (Prov 18:2). We are not merely to air our own opinions, however right we may feel they are; we are to seek to understand where the other person is coming from because the communication is not one-way, it is two-way.
The truth is there are some things that are black and white and some things that are gray. For example, it is indisputable that Christ is the only divine Son of God. The fact that He died and rose again is indisputable. But Paul makes note that there are other matters that are disputable, “One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind. Whoever regards one day as special does so to the Lord. Whoever eats meat does so to the Lord, for they give thanks to God; and whoever abstains does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God…You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat.” (Rom 14:5-6, 10).
Unfortunately, all too often we mistake our unrighteous anger for righteous anger. We jump to this conclusion: I am right and I am angry, therefore, I am righteously angry. Wrong. Unrighteous anger is anger over someone not doing your will or doing what pleases you. Righteous anger, by contrast, is anger toward evil and disobedience to the will of God. But righteous anger is not explosive anger, it is controlled. Unrighteous anger focuses on self-interest: “I’m not getting my way.” Righteous anger focuses on holiness, gently rebuking and correcting what is offensive to God and destructive to the self and others.
We have to look at the bigger picture. It is not about what goes on between you and that person, but what goes on between that person and God. When someone sins against you, it is not ultimately aimed at you, it is ultimately aimed at God. When David committed adultery with Bathsheba and murdered Uriah he confessed to God, “Against you, you only, have I sinned…” (Ps 51:4). Because the issue is ultimately between that person and God, we can let it go and give it over to God. Forgiveness does not mean what they did is okay or that they will get away with it; forgiveness means you entrust them into the hands of God for He alone is the Righteous Judge.
So, “as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord” (Rom 12:18-19). God is both a merciful and just judge, He will judge rightly. God is patient and gives us time in hopes that we might repent (2 Pet 3:9, Acts 17:25-27), but He hates sin and cannot tolerate evil forever. He is a holy and just God. As such, if we are stubborn and refuse to repent, God will administer discipline or punishment out of His love and sense of justice.
