“But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” Luke 5:16
Silence and solitude are good. Though we may often avoid and even fear them, silence and solitude are needed in our lives. The reason why we try to avoid them is because we associate them with loneliness. And when silence and solitude are combined together the sense of aloneness, or loneliness, is even more powerful. So during our long drives in the car we will continually play the radio or listen to music. At home the television is on in the background. And as we walk places, we plug in our ipod headphones and listen to the latest tunes. We don’t want to feel lonely, so we try to busy ourselves with other things to fill the time. And to avoid silence, we constantly surround ourselves with noise.
Jesus often withdrew. And not just that, he withdrew to “lonely places.” I think Jesus knew something about the good in silence and solitude. I would go so far as to say silence and solitude are needs. Being alone in silence does not have to mean you feel lonely. Jesus withdrew to pray and be with the Father. He knew He wasn’t really alone. He was not there talking to himself or practicing meditation. He withdrew for the sole purpose to connect with the Father.
I have been learning a great deal lately about the need for silence and solitude. Perhaps it’s a conditioning of our culture to avoid them. I do wander if there are other cultures that do not try to avoid silence and solitude but welcome them. Regardless, these two things are not highly valued in our culture. Busy, busy, busy = productivity and rewards.
I say that being with the Father in silence and solitude are needs because I have seen what happens when one goes without them. Have you ever noticed what we are like when we are constantly and increasingly busy? We are not only tired and exhausted, we are more irritable, anxious, moody, and forgetful. I myself can testify to this. The more busy I become the more I no longer feel in control of my schedule, instead everything feels out of control. I become frazzled, irritable, and moody. The demands of life and of others often seem to determine our time, driving us to and fro.
And here’s the thing: you can’t do everything. You are finite human with finite time. Meeting all these demands are impossible. Something’s gotta give. We may attempt to meet all these demands, but then we become exhausted in the process and we cannot enjoy the lives we’ve been given. A good example of this are the students who decide they are going to take twenty hours a semester and graduate early. They want to do it all. Then they become depressed, exhausted, anxious, irritable, and forgetful in the process because they dont have a life anymore. They no longer have any time to themselves or to rest. You cannot meet every demand made of you. In our culture we try to cram so much into so little time. Rather, if we want to be healthy emotionally and spiritually, we must prioritize and simplify in our daily lives.
If not, we will be at the constant mercy of other things. We want to do it all. But we have to understand that we are human. And being human means you can’t do everything, it means you are limited. We have to lower our expectations and stop being overachievers with our schedules. We have to simplify our schedules rather than cram more into them if we are going to make it through the next day, the next week, or the next year.
Another reason why we may avoid silence and solitude is because we are running away from certain things in our lives. Being alone in silence means you have more time to think and reflect upon your life. This time of reflection with God is key for tackling life problems. But this reflection is not the easiest thing to do. We may be running from the pasts and mistakes we have made. We dont know how to face our problems and it hurts too much to face them. So we dont want to reflect upon them.
The feelings of condemnation and shame may be too great. We are not comfortable with ourselves. So we become restless rather than restful. We stuff our problems and busy ourselves so we don’t have to think about them and hurt over them. All the while they are actually eating us up inside and sucking the life from us. But reflection is needed. We have to sort out the mess in our hearts and minds. Otherwise, we may not realize the root of the problem and deal with it.
Times of silence and solitude do not have to be lonely. Rather they are meant to be refreshing and restful for our souls. I am not advocating you go get alone just for the sake of being by yourself. I am advocating you get alone with God. And if you are not comfortable there, it may mean you are not comfortable with God. It may mean you are afraid of God and have doubts about His character. It may also mean you are not comfortable with yourself. You may fear His presence because you are profoundly aware of your own sin and you feel there is no grace for you. And if either of these are the case, it would be a good idea to ask God for help to believe the truth and for help to be at ease in His presence.
